emily boyajian

CEDAR COMMISSIONS SPOTLIGHT INTERVIEWS

Over the next few weeks we’re featuring the six artists of the 2022-2023 Cedar Commissions (taking place Friday, February 17th, and Saturday, February 18th at The Cedar) in a series of interviews on our site. The Cedar Commissions is a flagship program for emerging Minnesotan composers and musicians made possible with a grant from the Jerome Foundation.

In 2022, the first year that The Cedar was open from January to December since 2019, these artists began crafting their commissions with a bit more normalcy on the horizon, but a lot of strangeness, newness, and darkness in the rearview. They’ve been composing, exploring new ideas, and assembling teams of musicians to bring their work to fruition on The Cedar’s stage later this month. Over the two nights of the Twelfth Annual Cedar Commissions, audience members will witness performances about the existential threat of petrol, the importance of protecting and embracing Somali youth, how to find meaning in the indescribable, how to listen to the song of the planet, an illustration of journeying gender transition, and a depiction of the soul-body reunion after trauma.

Our second spotlight interview in this year's cohort is with Emily Boyajian (she/her). Emily is a pianist and composer. Her creation for the 2022-2023 Cedar Commissions, Transition, is an illustration of the journey that is one’s gender transition. Emily draws on her own experiences as a trans woman and explores those nuanced and dynamic happenings, revealing stories that other trans people can see themselves in, too. In December, Emily spoke with Twin Cities music writer Youa Vang about the emotive possibilities of lyric-less music, encouragement to trans people to remove judgment from their self-expression, and her composition process.

“Often, people who are trans have a more difficult time coming to their own identities and finding out who they are by working through self-doubt. I want to say that it’s okay to be trans and to be someone who has self-doubt and to not fit into boxes on either side of the binary.”

— Emily Boyajian

Youa Vang (she/her): Can you tell me your background? How did you become a pianist?

Emily Boyajian (she/her): I've been playing piano since I was five years old. I've also been composing. Music has been a big part of my life for most of my life.

Youa: Why did you get into piano? Was it required of you or were you drawn to the instrument?

Emily: We had a piano in the house and even as a kid I was compelled to play. I was playing around and plucking notes and just making triads. My mom taught me some basic stuff about how to play triads and melodies, and I enjoyed it. I just enjoyed making music and hearing the sounds come out from the instrument when I played it. So since I was about six years old it’s been one of my interests. My parents encouraged me but didn't force or pressure me to do piano at all.

Youa: That's not normal for most kids to understand the complexity of music. Why do you think your brain worked that way?

Emily: It’s hard to say. I just enjoy music. Maybe it's a way for me to get all my feelings and ideas and emotions and thoughts out in a way that's external where other people can also appreciate my ideas and feelings. I like to share when I feel happy or contemplative or whatever emotion that I'm feeling based on my music. Music allowed me to be expressive and get out all of my ideas and feelings into the outside world.

Youa: When you first started playing was it other people's compositions or were you composing?

Emily: When I started playing, I would use others’ compositions. These were exercises for beginners that you often have in piano books – I think Hanon and Suzuki – plus I think some easy pieces by Bach and Mozart. Then I started playing Beethoven when I was probably 12 or so. I played some of Beethoven's sonatas and that really got me into music and classical music to a larger extent. Beethoven really resonated with my own aesthetic and it was very emotionally profound in how it was either very intense or very calm and often going back and forth between the two very quickly. It’s also very structured and cohesive and organized in terms of how the music is written. The flow of ideas always varies in Beethoven's music, and that’s why I enjoyed Beethoven both from the emotional as well as the aesthetic side too.

Youa: How do you convey emotion or even thoughts through music without lyrics?

Emily: It's more abstract having lyrics, but I think for happy pieces I compose a fast tempo and have it be in a major key, maybe also have things move upward to the upper arpeggio or scales. You tend to create an increase and build up contention, which makes for more of an energy-filled and happy theme. If I want it to be an angry or sad piece, I compose in the minor seventh chords or have a minor key or include more dissonances that could help convey that mood. With instruments and no lyrics, it's more about the feelings and the emotions. You can't say, “This piece is about politics,” if you only have instruments, but I think it's still just as powerful to say this piece is about a struggle or overcoming a struggle. Even without words you can still convey a struggle and overcoming a struggle and a feeling of sadness and tension and then happiness at the end. Music can just be just as powerful with or without words.

Youa: Where are you from?

Emily: I grew up on the East Coast in the Boston area. I moved to Chicago for college, then I moved to the Twin Cities for work about four years ago. I've been here for a few years, but I grew up on the East Coast.

Youa: So why not go back home?

Emily: I think I have more friends here in Minnesota than I do on the East Coast. I also have more connections in the arts and music scene here. I enjoy how people are friendly here, and I also appreciate how the arts scene is more collaborative. It's more competitive in Boston, and here people are more interested in collaborating and supporting each other by working together for common causes. I've enjoyed that and working with other artists and musicians, so that’s why I stayed.

Youa: What are some causes that are really important to you?

Emily: There are a number of things. LGBTQ issues definitely, but also economic justice is important to me. In general, the community is important to me. I want to have places where people can feel comfortable and feel supported. People have fewer friends these days, and it's important to have friends they can bond and feel comfortable with and maybe have a connection with. I've been trying to create community through music. I’ve done it by holding concerts and organizing my own shows as well as going to lots of shows and making friends. That forms more of an informal network of artists of musicians through all of that.

Youa: Who are some other artists that are doing similar work that or that you're connecting with?

Emily: Ryann Daisy Swimmer is actually doing this series called [Minus] Hall which is basically a series of house shows. Apart from that, I know that House of Balls has some outdoor concerts on Wednesday evenings in the summer where people can enjoy free music. Lots of community members have played there with a variety of different styles and genres. It's very inclusive and it's a community that's focused around the concepts happening there.

Youa: When the Cedar Commissions applications opened, what inspired you to apply for it?

Emily: In part, it was two things. First, I wanted to have a concrete goal in mind for writing a piece within a given timeline. Often, if I have a big project of my own in mind, and work on it, it will take longer than if I had a deadline. I'll get busy with life and stop for a while. Having an audience is important for me – just having people who are there to listen and hear it is important. This space will have an audience that is focused on the work and interested in having new ideas exposed to them. They are also interested in both learning as well as being entertained, and that is important to me, so I thought that The Cedar is a good space in that it has a built-in audience of people who already know about the venue and are interested in going to the show. It’s a place where I can have my music have a big impact on people who are interested in feeling inspired and learning about trans issues or feeling empowered if they are already trans. The Cedar Commissions are really open and vulnerable and about breaking open complex but scary issues that people don't talk about.

Youa: Why did you want to talk about these things in your piece?

Emily: Being trans is always important to me. Being trans is more complicated than people think. There are more types of ways to be trans than one way. People can be trans and also be nonconforming. It can be about claiming a new gender or it can be about having traits that are more androgynous or non-binary. Sometimes people who are transgender are perceived as either a villain or media people make them out to be either being perverts or being bold and brave. Often, people who are trans have a more difficult time coming to their own identities and finding out who they are by working through self-doubt. I want to say that it's okay to be trans and to be someone who has self-doubt and to not fit into boxes on either side of the binary. Be your own person and figure out your own identity independently from any labels that are put on you either by conservative or progressive forces. Putting people into boxes is safer for others, and to compartmentalize someone it's easier to digest who someone is.

Youa: Do you feel that you're bold and brave for doing this kind of work?

Emily: I guess it can be brave in some ways. but I’m still going through my life. I definitely had my own anxieties. When I started composing this piece and going through my own internal self-doubts, what came out is I'm just a person who's making music and enjoying their work. I’m a person first and trans after that, so I guess I’m bold and brave. Talking about being trans makes it easier for others.

Youa: Is that why you do it, or are you doing it more for yourself?

Emily: Probably both. It's good for myself but I also think for the people who are trans. I think I'm doing this both for myself and for others. It’s not a binary of doing it only for yourself or for others. Both are important in my process of creating and having a goal for my own personal happiness. I enjoyed writing this commission. If the audience didn’t enjoy it, it wouldn't be worth it for me. If I write a piece they really enjoy but it doesn’t get performed at all then it isn't satisfying, since I know that my piece could have had a bigger impact on others.

Youa: Were there some pieces you had composed prior that you’ll be sharing with this performance? Why do you think those fit now? Why not just come up with brand new works?

Emily: I only had a vague idea of a piece when I first read about the Commissions. Since no one has really heard these pieces, all of my work is brand new. I went to the Cedar’s info session back in June, and I worked out my ideas to a greater extent in preparation for the application.

Youa: Where are you in the process right now? Do you feel you're almost finished or are you still in the throes of it?

Emily: I have the majority finished. I have a few songs that are already completed and a few that are still in the works. They are half finished or just started. I'm writing more this month and I can finish by the end of [2022] and then I'll have rehearsals in January yeah.

Youa: Do you feel it's going well? Are you frustrated or how are you feeling right now?

Emily: It's going pretty well. I'm proud of what I have written so far. Occasionally I’ll get stuck on a certain idea, but a week later, when I'm in a certain creative mood, it comes to me. It's about giving it time or waiting for the ideas to come to me. I have a lot of experiences that can help me be creative and help me to find perfect emotions and feelings I want to capture in music.

Youa: When you're working with artists and musicians, are they writing their own parts or are you writing parts for them? How does that work?

Emily: For most of the songs, I'm writing parts for them. There’s one song that is improvisational with the clarinetist who's very talented. That song is more of a freeform lament from the viewpoint of one of the trans singers. Most songs are more structured and have written out parts for all of the instruments.

Youa: Are all the musicians trans, as well, or was that not a stipulation that you put on collaboration?

Emily: Over half of them are queer, but I didn’t have any stipulation of them being trans. Both the singers are trans but most of the musicians are cis[gender].

Youa: Who do you think your current audience is and who do you want to be reaching with this performance?

Emily: My current audience is mostly friends or acquaintances of mine, people who've gone to my concerts and people that I know from going to their concerts. I think we could also reach people that don't already know, people who are active in the music community but with whom we haven't crossed paths in the past. I want to be able to reach more people that would be interested and impacted but in a positive way and haven't heard of my work.

Catch Emily Boyajian’s performance of Transition premiering live at The Cedar on Friday, February 17th as part of the Twelfth Annual Cedar Commissions. Buy tickets here.